Bomb Scare in Hafumel
On the 8th of September 2025, Spring of 131VE, citizens of Hafumel, Dalar Province, woke up to a rather unusual sight. The hill that houses the commune’s famous cat statue — a depiction of a local god and an all-around beloved animal — had been defaced by a nuclear warhead. While it did impact the hill, it did not explode, prompting citizens to point and laugh.
After numerous threats of nuking Hafumel, this attack seems to be a further escalation — one which citizens are taking with much humor. Comrade Lilysim 'Anqeya' Balchiqzor, who reported the bomb, said: “know it's not the first time nor will it be the last, but please at least next time: try to aim properly! You idiots nearly destroyed our cat statue, and your bomb didn't even fucking explode [...]”
While some, especially Deputy Secretary Comrade Zaaki Iletriosa, attribute the failure to explode to the fact that it was “a dud,” others, such as SSO Comrade Netekys Öztürk, say that the Cat has “protected Hafumel from the nuke” and that an evacuation was unnecessary if we “offer it offerings regularly.”
Whether another attack will take place is unclear, but Hafumelians remain unconcerned.
